We have an unsigned agreement with pigeons; They just walk all over the road as they please and when we come driving, they just scamper out of the way without us having to worry about them.
This time of the year that agreement seem to have gone out the window. Horny male pigeons are so busy courting the female pigeons that they forget to keep an eye on the traffic. Oddly enough the females do not seem so distracted by this macho strutting that they can't clear out of the way in time. Maybe it's because the male pigeon matting dance most of all look like a Mick Jagger stage performance. This inability to cope with traffic could the very reason behind the great success of pigeons in the city. Evolution (my car) kills the inattentive birds, leaving only the traffic safe specimens alive to multiply.
And multiply they do, in every major city you find these flying rats, shitting on statues, building ledges and my car (evolution). The amount of spikes and strings mounted on buildings to prevent pigeons from resting there is unbelievable. I can't help wonder (because I love useless trivia) how many tons of metal there's gone into pigeon-resting-prevention around the world . Woody Allen was right to call them rats with wings.
The solution would not be to kill the pigeons themselves and we can't kill the elderly people feeding them. Instead I suggest that we make all the green traffic lights at pedestrian crossings twenty seconds shorter, making it difficult to cross for slow walkers and eventually old people will give up going outside and just stay at home watching TV, traffic will run smoother and no more pigeons.
Old lady fined
Another old lady fined